


and the road not taken looks real good now

by wckdroot



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But still sad, F/F, Love Confessions, Reunions, emily is gay and sad but has a hot gf, it is canon, jj is gay and sad, set at derek's wedding because she would never have missed that, that should be canon, they totally had a thing in paris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 05:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30050934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wckdroot/pseuds/wckdroot
Summary: Derek, with a smile on his face, quietened whilst Emily cleared her throat. JJ was taken aback when Emily's eyes locked onto her, her unwavering stare returning as a slight blush coated both of their cheeks."'Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.' Spence quoted that to me once and I guess it always stuck with me. You both work so hard to save people's lives yet you two have still managed to make a life of your own together. It's challenging to believe in love in this world, but when I get to see you..."-------------Set at Derek's wedding, JJ and Emily haven't been the same since Paris and even more so since Emily left for Interpol. Emily's position as Derek's best man means the two of them are finally forced to reunite and acknowledge what exists between them.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 11
Kudos: 69





	and the road not taken looks real good now

**Author's Note:**

> title from ''tis the damn season' by taylor swift

_“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.”_

_-Kahlil Gibran_

  
"My beautiful blonde goddess, you won't believe what I have just found out, at the w- Derek! Let me, plea-... Fine."

  
"Pen?"

  
"Chocolate thunder has just blackmailed me into secrecy, my lovely. I can tell you this, there will be a very good, very brilliant surprise at the wedding that will definitely turn that frown I know you've got upside down."

  
The conversation whirled around her head as she flattened a non-existent wrinkle on her dress. 

  
It had finally arrived, Derek's wedding. The day everyone thought wouldn't happen till hell had frozen over and pigs could fly yet here they all were sat patiently waiting for the groom to arrive. Rossi had generously offered up another one of his mansions, luckily not the same one her wedding had taken place at but still similar. 

  
It was similar enough that she found herself nervously twisting her wedding ring and trying to avoid staring at the empty seat beside her. 

  
No, JJ thought. Today wasn't about what was wrong with the cruel world she had constructed but instead the pockets of happiness that were so hard for them to find. Her heart swelled proudly as Spencer fiddled with his bowtie nervously and Hotch moved to help him straighten it. 

  
JJ knew that Spencer had been chosen as a groomsman for obvious reasons, Hotch as the officiator and that Penelope had taken the role of the flower girl excitedly but surprisingly that was as much information she had been given from the tech analyst.

  
Altogether, the wedding was fairly small with it being restricted to only family, including Derek's BAU family, and a few friends of Savannah's. She had been seated behind the front row, which Derek's Mom, sisters, aunt and cousin occupied - there was also an empty seat at the end with Hank Morgan's police portrait placed upon it. JJ's own row of seats was occupied by the remaining, former and current, BAU members with Alex and her husband beside her then Kate and her husband with Tara and her girlfriend sat at the end. 

  
The rows on the opposite side of the altar were full of Savannah's large family and friends, an obvious contrast to Derek's sparse side. A couple more rows of seats were placed behind JJ's but only a few were occupied, she knew that Elle had been invited but hadn't even bothered to acknowledge it, a few faces she recognised from cases in Chicago had taken some empty seats but a blonde stranger perched on a lone seat attracted her attention the most.

  
The similarities in her own appearance and the strangers was eery. Both had long blonde waves that cascaded over their shoulders, near identical blue eyes and the same tension in their shoulders that came with jobs like the BAU.

  
"Jayje, you okay?"

  
Alex's concerned voice pulled her from her observations with JJ instead she turned her attention to the former agent. The two of them fell into easy conversation as they talked about Alex's teaching position and JJ's newest addition whilst they waited.

  
It didn't take long before the sound of Derek's telltale laughter echoed through the makeshift wedding venue, two pairs of in sync footsteps making their way to the altar.

  
"Sorry, we're cutting it a bit close. Somebody decided to lose the rings."

  
"Watch it, Morgan, I'm still armed. Plus I have just got off an eleven hour flight and nobody's given me any good coffee, what did you expect?"

  
No, it couldn't. _Could it?_

  
"You know I can still fire you from being my best man, I am well within my rights, Princess."

  
The nickname finally gave her the courage to lift her head up, the view of Emily flipping off Derek burning into her retinas. Her knuckles whitened as her hands tightened, her eyes wandering up and down the brunette's figure. A tailored suit, the same as Spencer's but with a satin tie instead, clung to her body while her curls bounced in unison with her laughter.

  
She looked happy. She looked good - who could she kid, Emily Prentiss always looked good.

  
JJ watched her every move as she went to stand beside Reid. She didn't notice the start of the music, indicating Savannah's arrival, however she did notice that Emily had taken an overconfident stance, that she was trying desperately not to pick her nails and that she hadn't looked once at the rows of guests in front of her.

  
The blonde agent knew why without even having to profile her. Emily had explained it to her once, whilst JJ had been curled into her side entirely too close to be strictly platonic, that she had always hated having an audience. She could instil enough fake courage to seem authentic after all she was still a confident person, she had to be with her job and the fact she was the ambassador's daughter, yet that didn't mean Emily had to _'fucking like it'_.

  
JJ watched as the Interpol agent finally caved to her observer, their eyes instantly locked.

  
Two years, five months and 8 days since the last time they had been able to do so - JJ had never stopped counting, sometimes it was the only thing that kept her sane.

  
The ceremony disappeared around them and JJ couldn't even bring herself to be guilty about it. It felt as though Emily was enveloping her body entirely and easily finding access to her soul as her eyes bore into her.

  
JJ didn't know the ceremony was near its end until Alex gently nudged her knee, nodding to the sight of Savannah and Derek making their way down the aisle.

  
It was unbridled fear that took over her body as she saw Emily take one meagre step towards her. JJ's body moved in autopilot once everyone else began to move which finally signalled the fact it was finally okay to move.

  
JJ took off down the aisle like the runaway bride she probably should have been five years before.

  
She ran from Emily. 

  
It was what they were both good at, what they were best at really, running from each other.

  
\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

  
JJ stared at the swirling champagne within her glass, nodding her head occasionally as an act of false acknowledgement whilst the rest of her friends struck up conversation with each other. The entirety of the BAU, past and present, had taken a seat but luckily for JJ, Emily was placed at the head table due to her best man status.

  
It wasn't that she was scared of her.

  
That was a lie. 

  
Emily had scared her since the first day that they had met. The butterflies in her stomach and her heart skipping a subtle beat whenever Emily so much as looked at her scared her.

  
JJ knocked back the champagne flute, wishing it was something a lot much sharper, and sneakily grabbed another two from a passing waiter. The speeches had been going on for a while, not that she had really been listening. Savannah's dad and Derek's Mom had done theirs and the Maid of Honour was nearing the end of hers too so JJ knew it wouldn't be long until Emily had to stand up there too.

  
Her eyes hesitantly flitted to the best man and were startled when she found brown eyes staring right back at her. 

  
They stayed like that for a while, in some form of stalemate with neither of them offering a quick mouthing of a _'hello'_ until the applause signalling Emily's turn severed their interaction. JJ watched as the brunette stood up, she noticed the tension within her stance and the way, now she had stood, she was avoiding meeting JJ's eye once again.

  
"I still have no idea how to start this so I'm just going to jump in. I'm Emily and I was lucky enough to be given the honour of being Derek's best man - _well woman_ , whatever. Derek was my partner for five years and in our line of work that makes us family. He's the brother that I never knew I needed and I know for a fact I, along with many in this room, wouldn't be stood here without him. Savannah, I know you only signed up for the Morgan's but sadly you get our dysfunctional lot too and we would be more than honoured to have you." 

  
JJ released a slight bout of laughter along with the rest of the room when Savannah lent over to initiate a handshake with Emily, a physical act of acceptation into their family. 

  
Emily continued her speech, littering it with anecdotes like the time she found out about Savannah and had nearly cried at losing her wingman but had stopped once he showed her a picture.

  
"I mean c'mon look at her, she's way out of your league Morgan."

  
"Shut it, Princess."

  
Their sibling-like relationship echoed as Derek dug his fist into her shoulder. Emily's attempt at fake annoyance failed, her beautiful laughter soothing JJ's soul.

  
"I could have you arrested for that you know."

  
"I'd like to see you try."

  
JJ could see the glint in her eye as it narrowed before it disappeared. She knew that if it had been any other day, Emily would have launched herself at him to try and tackle him - it had happened on more than one occasion.

  
"Shut up, before I forget the rest."

  
Derek, with a smile on his face, quietened whilst Emily cleared her throat. JJ was taken aback when Emily's eyes locked onto her, her unwavering stare returning as a slight blush coated both of their cheeks.

  
"' _Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning_.' Spence quoted that to me once and I guess it always stuck with me. You both work so hard to save people's lives yet you two have still managed to make a life of your own together. It's challenging to believe in love in this world, but when I get to see you..." 

  
A pregnant pause hung in the air as Emily's silence stuttered, her eyes still planted on JJ with a hint of softness dampening them, 

  
"You two give everyone proof that the cliche of true love does exist. I'm so happy to be here and to be able to congratulate you both. To Derek and Savannah!"

  
A round of cheers bombarded the room, JJ's cheers being on autopilot as her eyes still locked with Emily. She was crying and the wetness coating her own cheeks told JJ she was crying too.

  
"Thank you, Emily." 

  
Derek thanked her tearily as he arose from his seat and wrapped Emily up in his arms. 

  
JJ used the momentary distraction to run away.

  
Again.

  
\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

  
It had taken her 30 minutes of hiding in one of Rossi's many bathrooms before she had made her way back down to the wedding reception. JJ had quickly made her way towards the bar. She knew liquid courage was the only way she was going to get through the night and her actions manifested in her third _(fifth?)_ shot of tequila.

  
The burning in her throat reminded her of one of their nights in Paris.

  
_Emily clutched her hand as she guided her through the secret, sweaty nightclub._

  
_The brunette was far from recovered yet but had insisted if she could cope with copious amounts of sex, she could definitely handle dancing. It had only taken light persuasion (two orgasms) before JJ found herself pulling on a short blue dress whilst Emily found a slinky black number. Apparently, the club was one of her favourites that she had found in one of her many stays, mostly due to the hint of privacy its hidden nature gave._

  
_JJ happily allowed the brunette to lead her to the bar, enjoying the heat that spread through her as Emily conversed in French with the bartender - there was something so sensationally paralysing about the way she wrapped her tongue around the syllables._

  
_"Tu fais toujours des photos de corps?"_

  
_"Oui."_

  
_She couldn't understand a word her lover was saying, her French knowledge extending to 'Bonjour', 'Toilettes?' and 'plus de vin s’il vous plaît', but that didn't stop her hanging off every word of it. Emily's smirk worried her slightly but her infallible trust in her won over instead._

  
_"What have you got me into?"_

  
_"Be patient, mon amour."_

  
_Emily's hand reached forward and her arm snaked around her waist, pressing their bodies together. A wicked smile crossed the brunette's lips as she slowly leant down to kiss her, both of them immediately melting into one another. A few minutes passed, their kisses becoming slightly more persistent, before an insistent, 'Madame?", forced them to pull apart._

  
_"Merci."_

  
_Still overwhelmed from the intoxication of Emily's lips, it took JJ a few moments till she was able to register the items placed in front of her, two shot glasses filled presumably with tequila sat next to a quartered lime and a salt shaker._

  
_"So..."_

  
_JJ didn't even attempt to deny the brunette, she never could. It was how she had found herself in the nightclub, in Paris, in her bed and mostly because she wanted it all too. The humidity of the summer night made it easy to trail a line of salt upon the skin of her neck, ending it at the fading bruise that marred the bottom of her neck thanks to one enthusiastic Emily Prentiss._

  
_As she placed the salt shaker down, JJ replaced it with an offering of tequila and lime for Emily, who stared at her greedily. However, instead of taking it, Emily grabbed the now free salt shaker and doused her skin with a similar line to JJ's._

  
_The brunette slowly leaned forward, placing a far too gentle kiss on JJ's cheek, and whispered against the shell of her ear,_

  
_"I'll do yours if you do mine."_

  
The taste of Emily's skin beneath her mouth had been all she wanted to taste for eternity, it had been what had surrounded the majority of her thoughts still to the day of the wedding five years later.

  
It had all changed after Paris. 

  
JJ thought she could feel it, the immovable heaviness in her gut as she stepped back onto the plane that would take her to another one of her well kept secrets.

  
Paris had been where she could finally give up on trying to not love Emily.

  
It had been everything they had stopped themselves from having before. They had spent their stolen two weeks alternating between their naked bodies in the king size bed, date nights, cliche tourism and an out of the way cafe where Emily always introduced her as 'ma petite copine' and swayed their interlocked hands.

  
Then reality had returned and they were miles away with no way to properly contact each other apart from a couple of quick coded conversations on one of Emily's many burner phones. It had been Emily who had eventually suggested they take up online scrabble and soon enough a game that would last months between blackbird12 and cheetobreath had begun. 

  
The chat function had meant they could talk and they did more than they probably ever had before. It was cruel talks about the future they knew they would never be lucky enough to have that dominated their chat the most of the time. It was one of the first images they had created that had stuck with her the most, it had gone like this:

  
A perfect morning that began with waking up in each other's arms, JJ eventually pulling herself reluctantly out of bed and pulling a Harvard hoodie over her head before making her way downstairs to make breakfast. Henry would soon bound through their home, possibly followed by a toddler that was the spitting image of Emily, and even sometimes it included Emily being led downstairs by Declan. 

  
The brutal truth about their twisted, distorted hopes for the future had bubbled to the surface once Emily had returned. The agent had acted indifferent to her when she had walked back in the BAU and acted as though all they were still were two friends ignorant of the love they shared as they'd been before. At first, JJ's anger had flared and she had believed it was well within her rights to go and confront Emily but it was when she caught her staring at the ring that still adorned her finger that the anger dimmed. 

  
Emily had conceded, there seemed to be no more fight in her but JJ could never blame her. She deserved so much more and JJ had made her decision- even if she regretted it.

  
Everything after felt like a whirlwind she'd never escape from. Will kept bringing up marriage despite the fact he knew she wasn't happy - _"Jennifer, you need to be a good mother. Henry deserves to have stable parents who love him, don't you agree?"_ \- then the bomb had happened, the fact she was secretly more worried about Emily than Will causing a ball of guilt to anchor itself to her and JJ, with the weight of that guilt upon her shoulders, had no more excuses to deny him of the marriage he so desperately wanted.

  
~~Emily had left her then without a goodbye~~.

  
Emily had left the unit then ~~in search of someone new~~.

  
Emily had left the unit then because the Interpol job was what she needed after the horror of the past year.

  
It was a couple of years later before she spoke to her again when Emily rescued her from Askari. The brunette was kind enough to let JJ take a brief comfort in the arms she longed to be in. But it seemed as though she blinked, and suddenly Emily was back in London and she was alone all over again.

  
JJ's finger tapped against the bar's counter, indicating the bartender of the delightfully useful open bar to bring her another when the telltale sound of Garcia's high heels surrounded her.

  
"Aren't they beautiful? My Adonis married, I never thought I would see the day." 

  
She nodded her head in agreement as Derek and Savannah swayed to the music of their first dance as a married couple - JJ's own first dance had been spent staring at Emily across the room. Penelope took the stool beside her, ordering a rainbow cocktail Morgan had placed on the menu specifically for his 'babygirl'.

  
"So... Did you like your surprise?"

  
JJ had never told Garcia about Paris and the tech analyst had never had any reason to investigate it further. To PG, they were just two best friends that had two very separate lives, that was why they didn't really talk anymore - not a secret love affair. Her fake smile and nod in response to her question seemed to do the trick for her friend, JJ was thankful that she wasn't a profiler and was definitely way too shot up on happiness to analyse the charade she had performed.

  
"You know she brought a date?"

  
The hastiness she took the shot at the mention of Emily's date was far from subtle, maybe so unsubtle that even Penelope may have recognised the unscratchable itch of unwarranted jealousy sewed into JJ's actions.

  
"Really?"

  
"Yep. It's her over there with her now."

  
Her eyes followed Penelope's obvious pointing to Emily stood in the corner of the room in conversation with the blonde stranger JJ had noticed before. The pair looked as though they were exchanging sharp whispers while Emily's DATE locked a possessive hand around her bicep as she surveyed the room.

  
"I did a little digging when Derek mentioned she was coming because I am an almighty goddess with too much spare time, plus Sergio likes looking at pictures of Em. Anyway, her name is Nathalie Perrault and she's originally from Lyon. Her and Emily did some liaising on a case a few months back and then I guess they started _liaising_ in a more kinky way after that."

  
"How long?" 

  
It was a well-known fact among the BAU that Emily was basically incapable of keeping a stable relationship. Garcia and Reid had set up a diagram once to explain it named 'Emily Prentiss and her three month limit' which had ended with them being threatened by Emily, who said she would start a bonfire with their several Doctor Who DVD collections.

  
"Four months! I know, I may have done some snooping in Em's credit card history! Derek, and now Emily! Don't get me wrong, I love my brunette babe but that woman is a womaniser with a specific type. Honestly, whenever I visit, there is usually a revolving door of blondes ready to fall to their knees for some sweet lady love."

  
JJ ignored Garcia's somewhat harsh but very truthful words as she continued to sneak glances at the couple. The Emily that everyone else knew differed drastically from the Emily in Paris, who would try (and fail) to cook her dinner and whose smile would brighten whenever JJ mentioned that Henry was asking about her.

  
JJ was no fool, she knew she was the reason behind Emily's three month limit - Emily had told her as much one night in Paris.

  
Emily and Nathalie's previously hushed French had begun to rise, it was eventually loud enough to be made out over the sound of the music. She watched as Emily recoiled her arm, whatever had been said had caused her to nervously scan the room like she had finally realised anyone could hear what they were arguing about. 

  
Her eyes flickered back and forth as Nathalie stormed off towards her seat, anger present in each step, which had left Emily stood sighing. The brunette suddenly began taking paces towards the same bar that JJ was seated at which caused the blonde to instinctively try and hide behind Garcia. The sudden movement seemed to make Emily focus and when she did, JJ watched as she saw her and turned around on her heel, heading in the opposite direction to both JJ and Nathalie.

  
Thankfully, the bartender, who she was planning on tipping very generously, had dropped another shot in front of her, which she quickly gulped. They would avoid each other, Emily would disappear again, JJ would stay heartbroken yet strong for her boys and everything would be normal again.

  
"Hey everyone, as the groom I do have one final request before we get down to it. All members of the BAU, past and present, please step onto the dance floor and find a partner, we are taking it slow tonight guys. And no complaining, if you do you have to do my caseload for the next six months, employed or not."

  
Somebody up there really had it out for it her. 

  
She'd be fine, JJ reassured herself. 

  
The blonde turned to Garcia to only find that she had already run off and straight into Derek's open arms. Spence had gone and asked Alex, the two looking like a proud mother and her son, whilst Kate and Tara had wrapped friendly arms around each other - the two of them apparently fast friends. Even Rossi and Hotch were stood silently arguing about who would lead when they danced together.

  
That left her and Emily, the two of them staring at each other from across the no man's land that was the wooden dance floor. 

  
If anyone asked, not that they would, she would use the excuse of an unwanted extra workload. In her head, it needed to just be about an unwanted extra workload, she wouldn't do that to Emily again.

  
Her feet carried her around the edge off the dance floor until she was stood in Emily's direct vicinity for the first time that night. She squeezed a final fist before offering a peace treaty in the form of an open hand,

  
"Don't let the fact you hate me ruin this for Derek. Don't do it for me, do it for him."

  
Emily's hand fit just perfectly in her own like it always had done, as her palms tingled where the callouses on their hands caused by the gun's they both yielded scratched against one another. 

  
This time, unlike Paris, JJ was the one leading Emily, JJ was the one clutching to her hand as they took their own place among their team. The blonde tentatively looped her arms around Emily's neck with the older woman returning the gesture by looping her arms around JJ's waist. The two of them avoided painful eye contact by waiting for the music to begin:

  
_I’ve waited a hundred years_  
_But I’d wait a million more for you_  
_Nothing prepared me for_  
_What the privilege of being yours would do_

  
JJ and Emily both laughed quietly at the song choice. It was obvious now Garcia had been involved, Twilight had been their go too trashy film for girls nights over the years and their friend had been obsessed. Now as the rhythm and words dissolved into their bones, the pair quietened again as they swayed naturally in sync.

  
After a while, JJ failed to fight her natural instincts as she tangled her hands within dark curls, in search of the stability she used to find there. As soon as she realised her movement, JJ attempted to extract them but was discouraged by the tightening of the arms around her waist.

  
Emily's strong arms grounded JJ as they swayed and her head swirled. The happiness of their friends radiated throughout the room with all of them acting as though they, their chosen family, were all that mattered. It was love what they all shared with each other, it formed when they saved each other's lives, when they carried an empty coffin to fill a now useless grave, when they continued to trust one another even though they all were aware of the lies they told to each other.

  
Something within JJ forced her to talk, the silence surrounding them needing to be filled.

  
"Emily, I-"

  
"Don't."

  
She didn't push it, afraid that if she had then Emily would pull away. Instead, JJ took advantage of Emily finally being in front of her and buried her head in the crook of her neck. The now unfamiliar scent that was Emily's signature enveloped her, sandalwood and jasmine and a hint of something she hadn't smelt since Paris as the subtle hint of tobacco revealed itself - JJ had spent many mornings watching Emily's naked back as she leant over the rail of her Paris apartment, cigarette in hand.

  
JJ committed the moment to memory and was thankful for doing so as the song ended. As the next song began, Emily extricated herself from their tangle of bodies and without even daring a glance at JJ, ran off towards the exit.

  
\----- ----- ----- ----- -----

  
JJ had begun making her way to the bar, again, when she felt a hand wrap around her bicep and she couldn't help the disappointment that flooded her system when she turned and saw Derek.

  
"Where'd you think you're going JJ?"

  
The concern in his eyes made her wonder. Maybe, Emily had been more forthcoming about them with him than she thought or, maybe, he had just finally analysed their interactions as they danced. 

  
"To the bar."

  
"Don't you think you should be going somewhere else?"

  
"Nope."

  
As the ' _p_ ' popped, JJ tugged her arm from his grasp in hopes of avoiding whatever was to come next. 

  
"Jennifer Jareau, get your ass back here and go and get your girl."

  
She spun around on her heel, shocked eyes falling on Morgan's quirked eyebrow and knowing smirk.

  
"I- No- We di-"

  
"Shush. You two are like my sisters, all I want is for you both to be happy and the only way that is going to happen is if you go after her, right now JJ. You know, she wasn't even gonna come today until Penelope accidentally let slip that you were coming alone. I don't know what happened between you two before she moved, Emily would never tell me, but I do know that you two have something that is too special to mess up. So go and don't waste time by trying to deny it to me."

  
JJ took his advice, not even looking back, as she raced off in Emily's direction, hoping she hadn't missed what would probably be her final chance.

  
Relief washed over her as she reached the entrance of Rossi's mansion. Emily's figure, sat on the stairs, came into view, a cloud of smoke billowing from the cigarette in her hand, the brunette's focus on the cab that was about to leave - inside it, JJ caught a glimpse of Nathalie whose eyes actively avoided the window and Emily as it drove away.

  
She let the silence continue as she moved forward and took a seat beside her. Emily's eyes shifted towards her, subtly acknowledging her existence. JJ, with fake confidence that had been bolstered by Emily's acceptance of her presence, softly grabbed the cigarette from her hand and instead pressed it between her own lips. The slight burn as she inhaled strangely soothed her as it reminded her of Paris once again.

  
(JJ seemed to take everything as a reminder of Paris as of late.)

  
The pair continued the silence until JJ's fingers began to burn from the heat of the cigarette and Emily whispered into the night,

  
"I don't hate you."

  
JJ flicked the remains of the cigarette down the stairs, her head turning to watch Emily's features as she spoke.

  
"I don't hate you, maybe I should, but I don't - I can't. Actually, according to Nathalie, I make it way too obvious that I'm in love with you."

  
"Em-"

  
"You don't have to lie to me and say it back, that would be worse."

  
JJ wanted to say it, more than anything, but she knew that if she had, Emily would have only ever have seen it as pity or without meaning. So instead, their previous silence began again apart from the sound of Emily rustling through her pocket for another cigarette. 

  
She focused on the smoke as it escaped Emily's lips for a while but was stopped when the brunette began to speak again,

  
"PG, told me Henry has a little brother now, any pictures?" 

  
With anyone else, her children were the safe path of conversation but with Emily it was different. At first, with Henry, it had been an unrelentless pang of unrecognisable guilt that she was rubbing her relationship with Will in Emily's face but after Paris, the mention of Michael, Will's child instead of the one she had dreamt about being Emily's, festered a different strand of guilt. Her shaking hands pulled her phone from her pocket and extended it towards Emily, who took it and smiled - the first possibly genuine one surrounding JJ that she had witnessed all night.

  
"Jennifer, he's perfect. At least he took after you in the looks department, not Detective ' _I need subtitles to be understood_.'."

  
"Em-"

  
"I'm allowed to rude about the man who married the woman I love."

  
JJ tentatively shifted her way across the stairs until her side was pressed against Emily's and she was able to gently place a hand upon the brunette's that rested upon her thigh. She interlocked their fingers and squeezed as she spoke,

  
"If you would stop interrupting me, I would've agreed with you. Trust me, I'm glad the boys didn't inherit the accent."

  
Emily's confused eyes landed upon her own. JJ allowed the scrutiny of Emily's analysis of her features, tracing a pattern on the skin on the brunette's hand whilst she did so. 

  
"You are impossible to work out, Jennifer Jareau."

  
"I wouldn't be any good at my job if I made it easy."

  
The two of them turned their attention in front of them, Emily silently taking drags of her cigarette with the occasional puff of smoke clouding JJ"s view. It took a few more minutes of silence before it was filled again, but this time by JJ instead.

  
"Me and Will, we're on another 'break'. Got to be about the tenth one of this year by now, I stopped really counting after the third. I think he- we both thought having another baby would fix us, how messed up is that? I never expected it to work but I think Will did, shocker it didn't. We both knew what the problem was but I was too scared and so was he. Our arguments always come back to the same thing, he always says that maybe I do love him but I'm not in love with him, because I've been in love with someone else the entire time."

  
"Is he right?"

  
"Yeah."

  
She had dreamt about finally admitting her love to Emily, for the second time, on many occasions yet the events that transpired next weren't ones that had ever crossed her mind. JJ didn't watch her move however listened as Emily threw her cigarette and slowly sighed. Then, Emily manoeuvred her head, resting her warm cheek against JJ's shoulder and the top of her head in the base of her neck.

  
"I'm so fucking tired, Jayje."

  
The blonde rested her head upon the mass of curled hair weighing on her shoulder and sighed.

  
"Me too, Em."

JJ observed as Emily lifted their interlocked hands, the stones of her wedding ring catching in the porch light. Emily's thumb moved to press against each individual stone when the Interpol agent began a whispered proposal,

  
"I need you to be all in. It can't be like Paris, we can't be some dirty little secret that we hide from everyone. I want all of you. I want to be able to love you without somebody else loving you too. I want to be here for you, not some throwaway phone call Spencer makes when you're suffering, I want you to be able to let me help you. I want to be apart of Henry's life again and I would love nothing more than to be apart of Michael's too. If you couldn't guess by now, I want everything with you, Jennifer, the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. I love you."

  
It was quiet, tears running down both of their cheeks. JJ slowly moved her free hand to their interlocked pair and reached for her wedding ring. With a quick tug, the ring slipped from her finger and into her hand - the blonde took her time to stare down at Emily's attempt to hide the hopefulness in her eyes at JJ's movements. 

  
The clinging of the metal of the ring was the sound that followed as JJ launched the ring down the set of marble stairs, the physical symbol of her marriage disappearing from view. 

  
Carefully, JJ nudged the head from her shoulder. Emily's clouded eyes stared up at her and JJ cringed, knowing she could only blame herself for the evident unsureness that laced her features. Tenderly, the blonde placed a hand against Emily's cheek, swiped away a lone tear and moved her head so that their foreheads rested against each other.

  
"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss,"

  
"Full name? Jeez."

  
Both of them laughed at Emily's instinctive self-preservation humour, JJ rolling her eyes whilst pinching her thigh. 

  
"Shush."

  
JJ gazed into Emily's eyes, the notions about finding safety and everlasting love in a person only seeming true when she did.

  
"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, I love you. I always have and I always will."

  
For the first time since Paris, the pair allowed themselves to lose themselves in their love for one another as JJ pressed a kiss against her lips. 

  
Nothing else mattered anymore because the fact they loved one another was enough.

  


_“I love you, and that’s the beginning and end of everything”_

_\- F. Scott Fitzgerald_

**Author's Note:**

> this is my 1st jemily fic!!!!! 
> 
> i thought i would write a quick one shot to get into writing for them but here we are nearly 6k words later :)
> 
> i will proofread this when i wake up because rn it 2:26 and i'm going to bed :)
> 
> all comments and kudos are appreciated!! <3
> 
> @prentissjareaux on twitter  
> @timegirlfriends on tumblr


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